Family trumped the Dating Challenge

I am writing this ont the last day of the challenge. This holiday season consumed me as i spent the past week with family and not the dates that I wanted. I dont regret it either. It's been years since I spent the kind of time thoat I did. It was worth falling short. Although there is still hope for one more date tomorrow,I won't hold my breath. We will truly see...

"This Christmaaaaas"

This is the time of year when folks are rushing around planning and preparing for the big day.
For some, that day is Christmas. They run around trying to figure out what gifts to get whom and who's house to hit first and how much longer you can hold off paying Peter to present that loved one with a gift that they absolutely don't need. It's the strangers which are also family coming around and for one day sharing true love and joy.
For others, it's New Years. The infamous party night where you get to dress up in sparkles, glitter and gold.  To be crisp, clean and oh so fresh! You get to party it up all night long like a star and scream and shout that you are starting a new. You make promises to be better, do better, live better and love better.
Then you have folks that enjoy both days equally.
But then you have those who truly despise this time of year. It reminds them of loved ones lost, relationships ended or their plain old loneliness.

I tend to be a mix of all these people. But this year, I'm just happy! No over indulgence of gifts, manic parties to attend and no desire to be alone this year.  I'm just Happy!

With that being said, I pray that everyone finds their joy, their inner peace, their happiness this holiday season.

Merry Christmas and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

posts full of typos!!!

I rarely get on the computer at home, refuse to blog at work and use my smartphone like a second skin. But this is driving me CRAZY!!!!! I have tried to edit this post 10 times already and just finally decided to re do it.
When I post from my computer, the formatting it off!!! It appears like one big paragraph.
Then when I use my phone, it formats perfectly, but the dang nab auto inject keeps putting in things that I don't want and I never catch it or can figure out how to stop it!!!!!
Needless to say, I have to put things into my phone for the right formatting and then log on to my laptop to make to corrections. Oh, did I mention that every time I try to correct a typo on my phone, I have to dance around the screen to get the cursor where I want it and good luck trying to get it back to the end!!!

This is driving me crazy and I have to find a solution!!!!

7 down 3 to go

And I'm lining up 5 as we speak! Coach, Teddy Bear (aiming for two :P), Sensai, and 3 potential new players to the challenge but time for just one date. Oh yeah!!! Paul would be proud!

Date #7: Neo

Although I didn't want date #6 to end, I knew I had #7 to get to. Movies!!!
It was simple, meet get in watch movie get out LOL.
I got there first (a trend for the day lol) and got our tickets. Found my card and we got free popcorn. So hey, I wasn't hungry but it s free right lol.
Also grabbed myself a small drink, not to share. He showed up right when I was done paying dang nabit lol.
We went inside and later he left to get a drink cause I wasn't sharing mine lol. But all in all, it was good. After our last date (before the challenge),there was a weirdness between us. A kind of "what's going in here" that was dispelled with this one.

We are friends and we're just fine!!!

Date #6: Teddy Bear aka Mr. Ageless

First date off the dating site and I have to say that it was a breath of fresh air.
It was simple, I was going to be in the area because of PT and he was working. He suggested that we just meet for a few minutes since it would be towards the tale end of his lunch (I didn't know this until later). But me being me, I shared that it would be nice if he could take a late lunch and he did!
He told me to call when I was approaching the exit but I called after I got off which meant that I would beat him there. Lol Didn't mean to but it messed him up a bit. However, I was able to get us a comfortable booth and arrange the cutlery properly before his arrival. The waitress wasn't too pleased with me after that but umm do you're job. Besides, I didn't make a fuss about it. He called and I read off the menu so that I could place his order and I did.
Then he walked in. I have to admit that I was nervous. Wasn't sure what to expect when he told me his weight. I knew he was tall, but I could only see his head when he first walked it. When he rounded the corner and walked down the aisle, his new name was born. I just wanted to rush him and squeeze him to death. My personal Teddy Bear! Look at that, I'm already claiming him! LOL

Ok, we sat and within a few seconds we were laughing up a storm! The food came and we had to take turns talking so the other could eat. Then I realized that I had surpassed him because I was almost done and he was still working. (Mental note: Do not go on a date hungry!!!)
He is soo interesting. He shared a dark time in his life with rays of sunshine throughout the story. He gave me a glimse into his life without sharing every single event. It was rich, real and raw. It was sad but not depressing. He's such a positive person. He's the person that I need right now in my life. No, I'm not saying he's the one. But the friendship is there and strong that I am grateful that I didn't judge a book by its cover.
I am looking forward to our future endeavors!

Is it truly just me?

On one of the dating websites, fellas have been getting really pushy with me recently. Considering I've only been on there fs, I think its a bit much. The first one was upset because we were emailing on the site back and forth one sat morning. Well it came time for me to enter out for a workout and I left figuring I would respond to his email when I was done. To my suprise, he emailed me 3 times within 15 minutes. The first was requesting my number. However the other 2 were him going off that I wasn't responding to him. Needless to say, I never responded. Why would signs of anger issues be a turn on???
Next, I receive 2 angry emails for different guys. One "why are you ignoring me? Oh its like that?" Whaaaaaaa??? Dude I don't even know you! But that is not how I responded. I said, I believe you sent me this email in error since I have never been in contact with you before so there would be no opportunity to ignore you."Whaaaaaaa. Turns out, he was trying to "chat" with me, which is a feature that doesn't work on cell phones and the website even has a disclaimer saying "Please keep in mind, most of our users are on cell phones and some features LIKE CHAT, wont work."Whaaaaaaa Sigh
He responded "oh, so tell me about yourself. I wanna get to know you". Umm, I'm turned off buddy!
The second one that day read "I have been reaching out to you and I'm sick and tired of getting no response. If you are not interested, just let me know."Whaaaaaaa Again, whaaaaaa??? The last time I responded to his emails was 2a days ago and he never replied and on top of that, it was the "chat"with thing. He saw that I did email him and said "oh ok well can I get your number then?"Whaaaaaaa hmmmmm, NO!

New Fella to the challenge!

Althought I seem to be chatting with quite a few fellas from the online sites, not many are really catching my attention. Until now!
I would like to introduce, Mr. Ageless!
He is the oldest of the lot and looks pretty young. He is also the fattest of the lot as well, LOL. But he is an athlete working on improving himself with a goal of 100lb weight loss and is already down almost 30lbs. I am also a working in progress so I truly can't judge. I call him Ageless because he actually lied on his profile about his age. His true age would not have gotten a response from me mainly because I do still want to have a child myself and well, he's in the grandpa range but not there yet. However, he has a good reason for why he should keep his real age there and just explain why. Apparently he gets hit up by the over 60yo women on the site LMBO.
I told him I think he should just address it and be truthful.
We are meeting pretty soon.....

#4 and 5 with Curly Top

Well you know that after the stand-ups, I was kinda threw with Mr. Curly Top. Well he found a way to get into my good graces and I agreed to a lunch date.
We met at a local diner and I was running late which of course he thought I was paying him back for standing me up. (Sign #1)
We ordered and he was very meticulous with his order. Good points shows strong character and a knowledge of what one wants. But then he would get annoyed every time the waitress repeated his order. hmmmmm
Lots of convo and lots of food and 3hrs later, we were being kicked out by the manager because the dinner rush was about to start in this half empty diner. This was a first for both of us and although we were both cordial, I told him I would never eat there again. What made it funnier was that we were just about to order desert when the manager approached and asked us if we wanted a dinner menu. Just as I was about to mention cake, the manage lunged into his dialog with one of the wait staff suggesting that we get a room with a chuckle. Taken aback by this comment, I no longer wanted anything from there and Curly agreed.

Date#5: I really wanted chocolate cake. So we agreed to meet at an ice cream shop. Sat down again for over an hour. He is very interesting, smart, attractive and honest. We shared stories of our youth and troubles that we face with dating and our professional lives. He even shared his commitment issues and fears, especially when a guy walked in and was paying some attention to me. (sign #2)
Things were going so well, we decided to head to our relationship birth place (I needed something, lol).
Once we got there, he told me how it took him soo long to approach me. I disagreed because he just ran up to me. He then shared how he watched me while I was shopping trying to build up the confidence to approach. (sign #3)
He took me through the store and my actions that night. Now normally I would be concerned, but at this point I found it sweet.
Then he did a sneak attack, round the back, twisting like a snake, up to my face and stole a KISS!!! I really don't do PDA especially when I'm not in a relationship. But it happened and was nice.

The date ended with another kiss and arrangement to meet for church the next morning....

Next resource: Online dating

Remember I talked about my "plan of action" to get the dates for the challenge. Well I decided to sign back up to a very popular dating site. It's funny because Plan B is also on this site, but we have never been matched up, lol. Maybe there's something to this. So far I am in the communication stage with 3 hopefuls and have closed 5 matches due to age differences. Most of them are long distance connections. I even reached out to one that I tried to connect with over a year ago and he quickly closed the match so that I couldn't communicate with him again LOL. Is it sad that I find it funny that I had such an effect on him that he "shut it down" so fast? LOLOL Well now to see the guys that have tried to contact me via the profile that my friend set up. Oh this shall be FUN!!!! NOT! lolol Update: She actually did a good job with my profile except she made me a caucasian male with black hair and I was 6'0 LOL. But I did get 2 guys interested that seem ok so far. but we will see. Let's see if they make it to the challenge, baaahahahahahahahaaaaaa

When to let go!

I know I said that I would update the men of the challenge in that post. However, this one needs to be separated. Curly top, the 1st man to stand me up, made a comeback. A few days after the stand up (3 to be exact), he sent me a text apologizing and saying that his phone died and he didn't have my number written anywhere. Normally, I would have ignored it and kept moving. But due to the challenge, I decided to give him another shot. He seemed very apologetic and willing to do anything to make up for it. Well....... We set up another date which he kept trying to get me to come to his house. Finally, I told him I wanted I Indian or sushi (neither of which he can make). Low and behold, No show! No call! No contact!!! I finally sent a text message saying that I didn't appreciate being stood up for a second time and he could go ahead an lose my number. Needless to say, he sent a text 2 days later saying that he was sorry and that now his family member is in the hospital. Please understand I am not heartless, however I must follow my gut. He said that NOW... not that he didn't call because he went out of town to handle that. I feel sorry for his relative and I will pray for them and the rest of the family. But I truly have no desire to let him back in again. I believe he's playing games so I'm sorry, he's been eliminated from the challenge.

Date #3 Plan B

Ok, so here's date #3, which is actually the second date with Plan B and most likely the last! We went to a 25cent auction sponsored by the girl scouts. Very cute. So here's what happened. I picked him up and we got lost trying to find the lodge, but eventually did. We were still early so that was a plus. When we met up with the scouts, I told him the tix were $5 (note, I told him this a few days prior). We hands my friend the money and says "this is all I have". What?!?!?! Who goes out on a date with only $5??? Anywho, my friend told him it was ok cause she had purchased extra tix so she paid for him. We go inside and begin to look around at the items. Then I purchased $10 in quarters and asked if he had enough change. He said he brought change with him. Turns out, he only had a few dollars. Not even enough to buy food or drinks. Seriously, who does that? Ok so I loaned him a roll of quarters and hoped that the whining would stop. But it didn't. He kept saying negative comments like, "we're never gonna win". He even went as far as to begin complaining that his number wasn't being called. It was soo bad, I just couldn't look at him. He complained every 5 mins. I began messing with my phone for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night, my friend fortunately won a basket worth much more than she invested. I dropped him off and went about my business. At this point, there won't be another date with him. Don't think my nerves can handle it.

The Men of the Challenge

Ok, I realize that it should have a description of the men from the dating challenge in one spot. I will add to the list once new guys come into the picture until the deadline. (*Note, these are just the players involved in the "10 dates" challenge)
So here it is:

Plan B: We work together. He's definitely cute, sweet and a good catch. However we do work together and there may be some anger issues that concern me a bit. And I am not really physically attracted to him. That is never a good thing. But he is kind, never challenges me with my workout schedule and always tells me how beautiful I am. Definitely a plus!

Mouth Water: We met a long time ago and just never progressed into a relationship. However, we did keep in contact via facebook and reach out to each other every now and then. (see date#2 for the source of his name)

Curly top: Met him at a local store. He approached me. He's new to the area and single, no kids, great profession and very very very handsome. BUT, he seems to be more into his "curly hair" than anything else. He also cuts me off during conversations to talk about himself. Then when I do talk, he responses are soo off the wall I have no idea what he's talking about. Once when I was telling him about my fitness ministry, he responded "I love a woman that just goes out there and takes care of things. But you need to let someone help you." Whaaaaa? lol

Coach: A very attractive Personal trainer that I met via my fitness group on facebook. He seems to be a "ladies man" of sorts. He flirts like there's no tomorrow which can be nice. But when you are constantly being referred to as "beautiful, sweetheart and gorgeous" instead of your name, it gets old really quickly. But he says he wnats to get to know me so we'll see.

Chinky eyes: A friend of a friend. Professional, handsome, very soothing voice and has the "shut-up" factor (the ability to quiet me when I'm getting ready to fly off the handle) lol. I found that out when I had to see him about a professional matter. He is honest with a gentle nature to it. Very rare! And because he is good at what he does, he is incredibly busy and we can just never seem to connect. I truly believe we won't fit it into this challenge, but I am hopefully that I am wrong and we will have a date before new years!

Neo: Another coworker. We have been friends for years. He's a little arrogant but a sweet heart. We go out all the time, but our last outing felt more like a true date. It left us with some tension at work and mild avoidance as well. Let's see what happens next....

Mr. Ageless aka Teddy Bear gets his own post (tehe)

This wknd's Bust!

Well it started off that I would have 3 dates this wknd and it turned out to be zero! First, I cancelled with Plan B because I was running out of time. Then, for the first time ever" I was stood up! Coach never showed up! No call, no txt, nothing! I did txt him later saying that he could have txt'd to let me know he couldn't show. This morning he responded that he had a family emergency, but made no suggestion for a re-do. And then for the 2nd time in my life, no contact from curly top. I guess he realized that we just aren't clicking. The date was going to be the last effort, atleast by me, to give "us" a chance. At this point, I'm going to have to hit the online sites and trust me, I was trying my best to avoid that. Ugh! Just when I was enjoying this challenge, switch up!

Marathon wknd of dates

Ok maybe the title is exaggerating a little bit. But its more than what I'm used to at this point.  We have drinks with the coach, possible dessert with Plan B and lunch with Curly Top.  Ofcourse I will post each one seperately and go into details about each of them. Let the weekend begin.....

Date #2: Mr. Mouth Water

So this is a result of an old flame that was never lit.
We met years ago, but it wasn't a good time for either of us. But due to a "Happy Birthday" call, the door was opened, questions ask and a date set up.
Everything was cool till 2 days before the date. He asked me to pick the day (saturday), the activity (movies) and even which movie to see. But when I asked him to pick the time, he couldn't do that.
Am I being too hard because I expect a man to be able to make simple decisions?
Sigh!
I went and did not cancel like my heart wanted to. I know you think this might be quick of me. But after several txt msgs of indecisiveness, I was weary and ready to bail. But I didn't.

His kudos:
He showed up 40mins early because didn't want me waiting on him.
He refused to let me walk on the outside.
He opened every door and insisted that I walk in front of him or at his side.

Fact: Movies are the WORST type of date if you want to get to know a person better and talk.
Guess what? We saw a double feature!!!
Areas of improvement: I think there might be a saliva issue. I won't say that he has bad breath because I didn't smell that at all. But, I popped a nugget in his mouth and some of his mouth water (in my jamaican voice) got on my finger and it just wasn't right. I might not be able to kiss him.
However, there could be many reasons for this (although if memory serves me, he kissed me on the cheek years ago and I kept wiping my face after).
After he began talking about what's been gong on with him, I felt emotionally drained. And he kept referring to himself as old when he's only 3yrs older than me. But he calls me "young lady" sooo he may get a pass lol.

Result: One more date! Too many kudos to not give it another try!

Date #1 (or not) Mr. Plan B

Let me start off by saying that most of you wouldn't even consider this a date. BUT, I'm counting it as my 10 so there! :P~~~~~~

Now, a co-worker (Plan B), that has loosely expressed interest (and also borderline stalker tendencies), attended one of my fitness explosions.  We hung out afterwards (while walking to our cars) and shared a meal (aka snacks during the class) and even got physical (extended hugs after the class). So there!
That is date numero UNO!!!!
LOL

Result-Truth is, work relationships require a level of maturity that I'm not sure is present in this situation. It doesn't help matters that I am instantly turned off when I hear "I'm soo lonely and tired of being alone. Btw, you look very pretty tonight." Yeah umm ok buddy. This leads to Desperate Relationships. You know the one where you are just so happy to no longer be alone that you ignore all the signs that you are not a good match. Then a year later when one person has true feelings, the other realizes that this was a mistake and this never ends well!!!
So Friends it is. Next.....

Journey to 10 dates by New Years

I was driving into work one day and listening to the radio and low and behold I hear Paul Brunson aka Modern Day MatchMaker, handing single women a challenge..... 10 date by New Years.
WHAT?!?!?!
I immediately tweeted him "do you know how hard it is to find ONE quality date these days much less 10????
He responded by sending me to the article he published that morning on essence.com of 14 dating mistakes that women make. An interview which was insightful as I read it with one of my favorite married sisters.
Anyhoooo, long story short, she convinced me that I could do it if I had an open mind.
Me? Ms. Ehh I'll just stay home tonight and "clean my room/house/hair/anything to stay in" LOL

Ok, needless to say I accepted.  But how to go about this???

First, re-join an online dating site. Been there done that and truly don't want to do it again. But what choice do I have. With this, I solicited the help of another sista girl.  She is still putting together the profile and I have to say I am nervous. But she is determined to get me my 10 all by herself. But me being me, I signed up to a famous dating site, again, to see if things would be better this time around.  I wasn't even done with setting up the profile and I was already bombarded with guys wanting to see a photo. I posted one, but still haven't paid for the service (ol'cheapskate resufaced lol).

Second, attack my married friends AGAIN and convince them to help me.  Now this was much easier than I thought. One has decided that she also will help with the 10 all by herself, lol.
Did I mention that I have crazy and competitive sista girls, LOL.

Third, revisit some past potential suitors and see if there is chemistry now. Most of which are on my fb page and recently contacted me for my bday and gobble fest.

Fourth, keep an open mind! I'm not trying to find Mr. I have been waiting for you all my life. Instead I'm open to dinner, nice convo and that's it! If we click, we click. If we don't, we will be closer friends or part ways completely.

Ready.....Set.......GO!!!!!!

Is he/she worth the friendship?

The other day I heard an associate  say "I hate when people change over a relationship".  She was referring to her friend and her new found love interest.  But don't we all do that?
Scenario: You're out and about and meet a wonderful person that peaks your interest. While getting to know them, you invaribly spend all of the time you have with them. So instead of spending every friday and saturday evenings with your girls, you start splitting the time.
Now if you're lucky, your love and friends would get along.  But what if they don't?  What do you do then?

Do you end the relationship or the friendship?  The truth is, one of these relationships will drastically change.  Some times that change is termination.

Most choose to pursue the relationship and hold onto "if they are truly my friend, they'll understand."  Let's face it, a good relationship is hard to find.  The older you are, the worst it becomes. But you still have to ask yourself, is it worth the friendship?  .

My Personal Challenge.....

I am officially challenging myself.  I will write (and post) 30 posts in 40 days!I bet you sre wondering why I'm doing this. Or maybe you are like"why would we care?"  Well I ask, why not? Whether you are my personal friend or just a person who happened upon these words, I am making a promise to give you some thing to read.  A reason to come back for more. You might fall in love with my style of typing and especially my typos. Or maybe you are wondering, "could one persons life be filled with that much unavoidable drama?"The answer is YES!!!!! So stay tuned and prep those eyes for insane readings! 40 days 30 posts lol

When it rains, it POURS!

I know I have not written in a while.  Things have been a bit crazy for me.  For those who don't know, I was in an accident in October.  I was rear and front ended and now I'm going to physical therapy 3 times a week.  Then 3 weeks to the date, on the ever soo highly anticipated 11/11/11 at 11am, I was struck again. Needless to say I no longer want to leave the house! lol
And there are soooooo many other things to complain about but not enough time, nor energy, nor desired to re-live every torid detail of the past weeks. I just knew it was time to finally put something together since I haven't written in a while. I think pretty soon, we are going public!!!!!

I'm baaaack......

I know I haven't posted in a while.  Truth is I have, I just didn't publish them because it seemed like too much.  I guess I started to feel like I was complaining and I truly don't like to complain.  But here I am again.
So here's a speedy update to what's been going on;
met a plder guy but he dissappeared. it could be he was missi ng his wife (deceased) or that the age difference was too much but either way I don't chas so onto the next.
An ex resurfaced and I was a little excited but he's not giving me much attn, whhere it's his job or what, experience has taught me that if a person is interested, they will make it known.  Again I don't chase.
The security guard hasn't dissappeared but still 4 kids wether from an ex wife or not, is a lot of baggage.  But I'm still open to him since he's a christian and that's a major plus in my book.
And finally, Plan B. He's excited about our movie outings but I'm ready for a bit more than just that.  However, he worries me with his anger issues.  I don't do well with guys who don't express themselves till they are ready to explode.  And the fact that we work together makes it a thousand times worse.

Why is dating sooo difficult????

Till next time......

There are good ones out there....

Ok so we all hear that there are no good men out there.  But I have experienced something different.  I consistently find good men ad guess what, they are straight and...... happily married or in a committed relationship!!!

UGH!!!!!

Today I met another guy.  This one tall dark and handsome. Sweet smile, strong arms and a deep voice. So you know the first thing I did was check the finger.  But with most  electricians or HVAC techs, they don't wear rings.  Yes I was righthe's married with kids. So me!!! lol

Now at this point I pray that I find the good guy for me some day soon. And I hope that I can make him incredibly happy and he does the same for me!

Wish I knew

I never expected this.  Never thought that I would be here in this place at this point in my life.I was never the prettiest one but far from the ugliest.  On the inside and out.  No one tells you that the older you get, the smaller your circles become and the lonelier you feel if no one is there to comfort you.
I've never understood the concept of buying love.  Always saw it in the form of male order brides.  Never did I see artificial insemination that way, but I do know.
Folks try to convince you that it is ok, but what do they know?  They are viewing the greener grass on the other side and ignoring the weeds and fake plastic grass patches.  They don't see the life long effects.  I wish I could interview some folks who are products of this experience.  Seehow they feel about it now versus then.  MaYbe I will.

But for now, I lay here and struggle with decisions I made almost 20yrs ago.  Although months of deliberation went into that decision, if I knew what I know now, you might not be reading this....

Another marraige sermon, again.....

I feel like I' being tortured to hear another sermon on marraige.  I'm glad that the church is taking time to try to fix all the marraiges in the church BUT I'm single!!!!  I don't want to hear this right now!  I'm not even dating so this hurts more than helps!

Special Date

Well I know that so far my posts have been mostly me venting, ok the one post, lol. But right now I want to share something I did the other day that is, well it's positive!
It was saturday and my morning plans were canceled and I couldnt do any yard work becaise of the rain.  To top it off, I was starving but didn't want to cook.  So I decided to have a breakfast date with Jesus.  That's right, I said Jesus! lol
So let me describe what happened.....

I drove up to my favorite Denny's and the parking lot was filled.  So the enemy was clearly at work!  I kept going till I made it to the diner which was also full bit I alreadu decided it wouldn't stop me.  Then the staff was a bit rude since the host wouldn't even turn around. I was begining to take it personal when others began coming in and he still didn't turn around.  Finally he did and quickly apologized.

He then brought me to a table and I asked for a booth. He responded "there are none available" as I could clearly see 2 that were open.  When his eyes followed mine he said "those seat 3-4. Would you like to wait?"  I said yes sarcasticly as he then proceeded to sit 2 at that same booth.
As I turned to address the situation, he turned to me and led me to another booth.

I sat down and laughed because it was soo apparent that thinhs were trying to stop this moment.  The realization sat it on how special this was going to be.  I closed my eyds and began my date. Phone off and full attention to the Lord.  I found peace and stillness in that crowded diner.  I opened myslef and received a little piece of Him.

Thank you God for our time together!

Hate on Me?

"For all yall haters out there that are running out of folks to hate on, please feel free to hate on me" Kat Williams

Why, oh why do I feel like this?  If you are in your 30's or older, you should NO LONGER be a hater!!! Get out there and get your own!
Thy is this such a foreign concept?

I know I have been blessed with amazing and I stress, AMAZING friends (such as the ones reading this right now). But what the hell did I do to deserve haters? And yes, I said haterS!!!!

Am I a model? NO
Am I married with a fabulous husband? NO(t yet)
Do I have AMAZING kids? Again NO(t yet)
Do I have a super duper job that pays me bookoo bucks to do absolutely nothing? NO!!!! (not yet, lol)

So why hate on me?

Is it hard to identify if you are a hater?  Hmmm, let's see:
If someone says something nice to you about someone else, and your response is negative, You're a Hater!
If people are admiring your friend and all you can think about is moving away from the area so folks can look at you, You're a Hater!
If people seek the advice of a friend (or so called friend) instead of you and you find yourself getting upset when they do, you might have some hater tendencies!
If you feel the need to put another chic on blast to make yourself feel better, or better yet, if you think you are better than any one else because you rock your "real hair" or you have never had a zit in your life, OR your baby daddy just bought you a new (insert item here), or or or, (get this)
You are a better christian cause you kept your legs closed and they didn't......... You're a HATER!!!!!

Geez! Don't we as women already have too much to worry about? Life is always trying to pull us down. But yet, some of us spend sooo much time trying to put another down.
At the end of the day, we all have problems, we are not perfect, we all wish and long for something else.
Ok, so you see my car, you see my house, you see my style, you see how folks like me and want to be my friend and all you can think of is how to put it all down? Are you serious? Go get it for yourself!!!
Do you know my demons? Do you see my mirror? Do you know my pains vs my dreams?
Oh , you think you do because I let you see a side of me. AND still you feel the need to point out my imperfections instead of fostering my accomplishments? And you think I should call you my friend???
Ya right!
You want my shoes? Take'm!
I know pain, I know loss, I live with hurt every day.
But I know love! The love of GOD!!! So I smile!!! smh  I Smile to keep me from crying!!!!

So the next time you see another woman that seems to have it going on, instead of hating, CONGRATULATE!!!! Because you have noooooo idea what she has to go home to, what puts her to sleep at night and what darkness lives inside her!

Why this?

I remember a while back (about 5yrs ago) I bought a shirt that read "Who cares about your blog?" I really felt that way. Who needs an online diary? Who wants to read it? Who actually cares???
Well, in the words of Chris Brown, "look at me now" LOL

I realized that this might just be a great way to update my friends (my sister girls) on the things that would have us spending hours on the phone playing catch up. Who has time for that anymore?

In this new age of twitter and facebook updates every 30mins, why not create a blog? Why not show folks who I really am. Not the sweet friendly person that everyone sees in my "posts" but the "Other side".  You know who she is. She's the one that lives inside all of us. The mean chick that slaps you when you piss her off, that cries when you walk out the door, that wishes you'd choose her, that wonders why her life is no where near what she thought it would be.  She's also the little girl that cries for her dad's love and attention. The girl that was picked last for sports, the one the cheerleaders picked on.  She's the one we hide and protect. The one that only our closest of friends know and love us anyway.

Well, I am going to let her loose! She has a voice that needs to be heard and if you care, you'll hear it!