Date #6 with guy #4: Mr.A

Well I met another one off the fishing site.
He was cute yes, but short!!! Put it like this, I wouldn't be wearing 4 in heels around him.

So we decided to meet at a local spot for lite diner. I called him early to tell him that I would be late and he was already on his way. Needless to say he was annoyed and it showed. But in my defense, I did call him 20mins early to change the time.

I arrived and he was dressed for a weekend date, I was dressed for work, jeans, boots and a nice top.
Things seemed well till he informed me that I was the 3rd date from the site and the others wouldn't make it to a 2nd.
That threw me off my game because I spent time wondering if we are were going to have another. He assured me that we would, we hugged and went our ways. But no plans were made.

Now, days later, he says his wknd is booked and he hopes its a good one. My besties mom called it when she said he seemed like an uptight jerk. Now I have to argue with my mom who believes he is secretly gay, LOL.
I love my mothers!!!!!

Challenge complete???? Naaaaaaah

So as you can see, I've been on 5 dates since Jan 1st and it's only the 16th! Technically I am done.
But since I began pooling these guys from before, I will adjust my personal Vday challenge to....

 5 different guys by Valentines day!!!

 Therefore, I have gone out with 3 guys and have to somehow meet 2 more. Yikes!

Now this doesn't change anything for those of you who are joining me. Especially if you are just starting.
And remember, I'm here to help. I've set up some online dating profiles for participants already.

How are you doing with the challenge?????

Date #5: New Player!!!!! Hill Billy Bob

LMBO oh my goodness! This has to be among the worst dates EVER!!!!


OK ok, let me stop laughing so I can type....... woooosaaaaaaah

Met him on the free online site. He paid a very nice compliment and although he wasn't my type physically, it turns out that we attend the same church. So I decided to give him a shot

I've been texting him for a little while now and was growing tired of that. I called because I was out and he was bored. Asked him if he liked sushi and he said he never had it (score!). So I suggested meeting at a little
sushi spot that I like in the area. He said "ok, but I don't have any money right now, I'm waiting for a check.. Check? I asked. Yes he's currently having difficulty since he's a contractor. This I do understand. But he lives at home and his parents. PAUSE
His parents are growing tired of him being there and he's about to get his own place. But he has no job? Breathe Exhale

Ok, so we met at the mall instead. He parked next to me and immediately I came up with his name. Dude didn't even take time in his outfit or maybe he did. (I caaaaan't stop laughing)
He fussed the entire time about how people buy things they don't need, fussed at the sale items in Macy's!!! Macy's!!!! It's not like we were in Nordstroms! (breathe) then went into details that his shoes came from Payless, pants from walmart and shirt from Target.
Now here's the thing, I shop in those places too. But I don't run around telling someone on a first date/meeting about it. I responded that Target was expensive and I prefer Old Navy. He then went on a list of stores that he shops from and then said "Holister", WTheck!!!!!!!!
Holister!!!!
You're fussing about a $20 dress in Macy's and you claim to shop in Holister?????? (brb, gonna wet myelf from laughter ROFLMBO)

And oh wait, he wants to go to Golden Coral for our next meeting (LMBOLMBOLMBO)

Ok, maybe I do expect more. But he called me fancy and I had on sweatpants and timberlands. I don't know if he was testing me or what. But I'm thinking I failed. He was too all over the place and right now, I won't settle just because it's cold out side.

Friends it is!!!!

Date #4: Make-up for Bear!

He was soo upset with how things ended on Friday (date #2) that he had to come to see me on Sunday. He came to my house.  This was a big deal for me but I'll explain in a later post titled "4yr anniversary" coming soon.
Although he wanted to sit in my house and just watch tv, we decided to head out to a local gourmet grocery store that has a restaurant that I have never been to. We got there and he was sooo happy to see all the things he could eat (vegetarian). I was just being greedy and wanted to eat everything in site!!!
We went into the lounge room and watched the game, talked, people watched and ate. It was kinda nice and cozy.
Afterwards, we went back to my house and watched 1/2 of a movie (since he saw the other half already). But when he went to leave, he came back and I could tell that he wanted something deeper. Something that I am not ready to give yet.
Sadly, I am still unsure if I want to stop dating and be with him exclusively. But I think he may be getting there.
I could tell he was disappointed, but a perfect gentleman about it.

We shall see.......

Date #3: Round Two with Puggles

I have to admit, after our last date, I was pretty excited going into this one. But when we were trying to get organized on the phone, it quickly headed south. We just couldn't find a middle point.

At first he mentioned ice skating. But with my recent injuries, that was not a good idea (although I really wanted to go). Then again with the timing of things, he works on Saturdays and we were meeting on a Saturday, how would that have been possible???
After a serious back and forth, we finally decided on movie and a meal. We get there and he already started fussing about this and that. I have to admit that I wasn't too happy when I saw teenagers getting off the bus in droves heading towards the theater.
We finally went to the mall to grab a bite at the restaurant and it was the most expensive soul food spot and we truly didn't have time. Oh, I forgot to mention. He actually asked me to pay. I was taken aback but then reminded myself that he said he didn't make it to the ATM yet. So I did!
While eating, little comments like "well I'm used to ghetto chicks that curse and roll their heads" kept coming up. I guess this was his way of calling me uppity? I don't know but I ignored it.
We went to the movies and dealt with the kids acting a fool!!!!!!!!! Soo many people left and even the cops came and sat in the theater. But we stayed, ignored them and we in our own little world.

At the end of the night, I had to go to the restroom and we already left the theater and they wouldn't let me back in. so we went to the gas station (umm yea I had to go that bad!!!). When I came out, he was gassed up and ready to go. We kissed (a little peck) and said bye and before I could make it to my car, he was GONE!!!

Wow, for a second there, I was nervous that I may like 2 guys at the same time. NOT!!!!!!

#ontothenext.....

Another view point of Dating

Here is a good article I read the other morning about the approach to chemistry and dating:

http://advice.eharmony.com/about-you/your-chemistry-meter-broken?cid=2091&aid=0810113

Date #2 Teddy Bear returns

We've been chatting and getting to know each other very well.  It was definitely time for round #2, but with our busy schedules, it's been very hard. We finally decided to meet for a quick dinner before he headed off to an event.
Since I knew I had time to get ready before we met up, I decided to go to the mall and do some shopping.  Ummmmm, I am a woman and this led me to sale after sale. I played dress up and even had my make-up done. Nothing over the top. Just a little something to give me that "fresh" look. And wouldn't you know it, I was now 20mins late!!!!
I ran out to my car and quickly changed into my new top and jacket (glad I bought it because the temperature dropped and I wasn't prepared). then my phone rang.  It was him and guess what.... he wasn't ready either! Phew!
Then we agreed on the time that he had to leave and he seemed very nonchalant about it (flag #1).
I took my time getting there and when I arrived I realized that we only had 40mins to be together. I called to see if he was there and he hadn't left the house yet. Then he informed me that he was 15mins away!
"But no worries, just go in and order for me" he said casually.
All I kept thinking was that this date went from 1.5hrs to now 20mins in a blink of an eye and he thought it was ok for me to be ordering his food for him AGAIN!
He even made it seem like I was freaking out. I asked if he was sure he wanted to do this and he said Yes, stop worrying".
Wellllll, that 15mins turn into a half hour. The food was at our table for 10mins as I sat there just starving! First thing he did was apologize. I half expected him to grab the salad and leave out but he didn't. We sat and talked. Then all of a sudden, he was ready to bolt with a sense of urgency.  I couldn't help but laugh because he showed up at the restaurant 10mins past the time he was supposed to leave.

Anyway, we went our separate ways and I ended up with food poisoning for the rest of the night.

I'm still trying to figure out if it was worth it......

First Date for the New Year: Puggles

For those that think this entire challenge been a joy from day 1, let me tell ya it hasn't!!!
And the set up of this date was like that.

In my boldness of the last challenge, I reached out to another old contact. We had our first date over a year ago (I didn't think it went well because I was acting like a complete Witch!!!) and never got around to the second date. Interestingly enough, we remained friends and chatted every once in a while.
I asked him if he was still interested in a second date still and he said yes. But the distance between us made things difficult then and nothing had changed.

We agreed on a midpoint which I griped the entire way there (to my mom ofcourse lol) because it truly wasn't in the middle since I had an extra 15 minutes and a toll! It was worsened by the location being insanely crowded and I despise crowds!!!  I even voiced this to him when I arrived. Thinking to myself "this is going to be a waste! If it didn't work before, what makes me think that it will now? I'm done with the challenge so I don't need this."

As I stood waiting for him to circle around to where I was, I began praying "Lord, Guide me" and he listened.

He rounded the corner and said "I told you I would find you" and that's all she wrote! Every malicious thought went out of my head. I forgot how good he looked, how soothing his voice was, how kind he actually is. We hung out for hours and I enjoyed every second! We laughed almost constantly and I was completely myself this time.  By the end of the date, it was obvious that neither of us wanted to leave. But live goes on. Surprisingly, we immediately made a third date for this coming weekend and I am giddy with excitement.

Now I still have no expectations as to where this might lead. But I am beyond happy over this one FACT:
The old me would have canceled the date viewing a reconciliation as a waste of time. But this new me, pushed on and had one of the best dates ever!

Can't wait to share what happens next.....
Am I turning into a dating monster.... Baaaaaahahahahahahah

New Dating CHALLENGE: 5 by Vday!!!

Heeeeeeere we go!!!

Ladies Ladies LADIES!!! If I could do it, so can you. Since most of my friends gasped when I told them about this challenge that I was posing to them, I reduced the amount of dates.

Here's the deal:
The holidays are over and we are quickly approaching the dreaded little narcissistic midget wearing diapers day.  That murderous little fart that stabs people out of fun. The day that hallmark tries to fatten every lady in the country with chocolate and other sweets. The day that all dentist look forward to:

VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Now, I know that most of you are freaking out at the idea of one date much less 5. But let me tell you, it's more than doable!

Rules:
There are NO RULES!!!! The 5 dates Before V-day can be any where any time and with 5 different guys or just the same one.  Either way you need to Get out there and just DO IT!!!

Not sure of how to begin. Well the first step is to read what I did!!! (Detailed in my previous posts)

• Talk to friends, family, sister girls, etc! I found that once I told folks what I was doing, they were encouraging and very helpful (Shucks I might set up your dating profile if you ask lol).
• Try something New.  The craziest thing is to expect change when we are still doing the same things. Its like trying to cook diner but you haven't gotten off the sofa. Hours later, You're still hungry!!!!
• Approach each date WITHOUT expectations!! You'll be surprised when it is a good date. And if it isn't, you weren't expecting much.

The point is to break the cycle! Put yourself out there and see how much fun dating can truly be.
Just give it a shot!!! What do you have to lose other than your singlehood!!!! ;)

Results of the New Years Dating Challenge

So it's New years day and I'm at peace. I completed the challenge  with 7 dates, not 10. But I found out some very useful things.

1. Dating is a lot more fun when you know what you want, but have no expectations from the person in front of you.
For some time now, I have said over and over again that dating wasn't fun and was indeed a necessary evil to the ultimate goal of getting married.. Unfortunately, I went on dates with this in mind. Analyzing each guy as a potential husband or baby daddy. This led to a lot of disappointment and/or rejection. However, with this challenge, my focus was completely on getting to know these guys for who they were, not who I wanted them to be.

2. I was able to get clarity on friendships vs relationships.
Two of the players in the challenge were actual friends that I thought I had romantic feelings for. Through the challenge, I discovered that we indeed were "just friends" and what I thought was feelings were actually friendship feelings.

3. Not every guy is the "one" or even a contender, but could be a really great friend!
This year a lot of my single friends escaped the dating world and entered the realm on marriage. This left a major hole in my life. No more hanging out without the spouse, etc.
This is all fine, but I needed friends to fill that void and there's nothing wrong with having true friends of the opposite sex.

4. It's ok to get to know a person for just friendship.
This line of thinking really makes it easier to be light hearted when you contemplating a date. If it doesn't work out, you have a new friend. I was also able to see guys for what they really are. True friends!

5. Open your mind to the endless possiblitlties that dating can bring.
With revisiting old contenders and putting myself out there to meet all different types of folks. I mean, truthfully, the idea of dating doctors and lawyers was foreign to me. Mainly because the ones I know are usually arrogant pricks that have some type of God complex. But with counseling from my friends and my family and encouragement from this challenge, I have met some guys who are in this category that are down to earth and really good friends!!! I am soo glad I am letting go of biases.

Needless to say, because of this challenge I am now seeing the fun in dating again and I'm looking forward to the next challenge. Yaaaaay